Death as an advisor

The idea of using death as an advisor is a common one. It is discussed in Buddhism, the Toltec teachings, and probably in most (if not all) major religions. The basic concept is a simple one. When death comes to tap us on the shoulder, none of the things that we have, want or don’t have, make any difference. Money and possessions become instantly meaningless for us (except as it might help our loved ones in the future). I think we all have a goal of having done what is important and having “our house in order” at that time. Since death can come totally unexpectedly at any instant, if we are to have our house in order at that moment, we had better keep it that way at all times (or as much as possible). Folks who have faced their imminent death, but survived for one reason or another, usually report that they regret not taking enough time and care with their loved ones. They end up thinking things like, “if only I had known, I would have ….” (Fill in the blanks from you own life).

The realization of the possibility of our imminent death opens an opportunity for using this knowledge to assist us in making our day-to-day decisions. We can use it to determine which choice is the better one. Questions such as; “If I were to die today, tomorrow or some time soon, which choice would I have rather have made?” can be useful. This is one simple example of using death as an advisor. Once the idea of the reality of our death has become crystal clear, it turns out that there are many instances where we end up doing things differently than we would have had we not had that point of view. It can become a powerful tool to help us shape ourselves into the person that we want to become – both in the practical day-to-day aspects and in the development of our spiritual being.
I have been wondering how we can cultivate that realization in a way that is useful, but not morbid. I find that my experiences as a fireman have given me a new appreciation of how quickly death can overtake us. If have been to several accidents and medical aid situations where it is clear that the person was totally unprepared for their death in the sense that it happened very unexpectedly. Maybe they were cruising along in the car, reaching to change a CD and then it happened! Bang! All of a sudden the world changes and they are dead. They had no time to plan, not time to contemplate, no time to do any much – they are just dead. Every time I witness this sort of situation I think that; “but for the grace of God, that could be me.” I am possibly standing on the brink of death unawares, just as they were minutes before. I am amazed that these experienced do not seem to bring up a morbid side in me, it is just life.

While meditating upon this question of finding ways to bring our death into our lives in a way that is useful, it occurred to me that maybe some of us who were children during the fifties and early sixties have a leg up on the idea of possible instantaneous death. At about the age of six, they started teaching us to “duck and cover” in school in preparation of being attacked by a nuclear weapon. By the age of seven or so it had dawned upon me that duck and cover made no sense. Either we would still be there, or we would not. Ducking wouldn’t help at all. We were brought up with the idea that at any instant, without any warning whatsoever, we could be vaporized where we stood. It was a pretty sobering thought for us small children. We understood early on that we would likely have two choices. Either we would be so close to the blast that our brains would be gone before the nerve signals associated with the event reached it, or we would die a rather slow and painful death associated with radiation poisoning. There was really no hope of survival. Not only that, but we were promised that this would almost certainly happen within ten years or so.

Based upon this knowledge, I think that a lot of us learned to use death as an advisor early in our lives. We knew that whatever we did, and whatever we had, could be rendered totally meaningless in a flash. I was careful as I grew up to try to stick to things that were important, and ignore those that were not. Of course, I was also a child and did all of the stupid child things, but even then it was with a certain level of knowledge that I was doing stupid things intentionally. Sometimes I did stupid things that I didn’t know were stupid, but that was from ignorance, not from lack of consideration. In fact, I still do stupid things unaware of what I am doing, but I at least have the awareness of what I am attempting to do, and why. I think I came out of this early training with a keen understanding of how close we may be to death at any instant. I don’t think I have lived a day in my life without thinking about this, and have gotten used to the idea that I need to do what is right in the moment, I may not have time to fix things later. (Of course, I have not been particularly successful at that endeavor, but I am certainly aware of the need.) 

I wonder if it is harder for people who didn't grow up facing the prospect of instant annihilation to appreciate the concept of using death as an advisor.